Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize