i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
