New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
