Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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