I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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