sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Did I show you my penis last night?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
