Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
