Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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