Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
