are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
