I'm lost and stupid without you.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
