i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
