Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
