wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
