Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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