Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
