Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
