so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
