At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She told me I should be a condom model.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
