Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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