I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize