I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
