I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
