you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
