Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
