just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I wear drunk well.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
