I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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