I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
