I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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