Tell her she can't have a vagina
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
