All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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