Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
