the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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