Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
