TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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