My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
