It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
