I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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