I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
