hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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