Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
