I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
