Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
