ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
