it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
