...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
