I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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