Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
