he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
