dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
