Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Randomize
