and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
