Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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