READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
