i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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