I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
