i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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