so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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