to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
