When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
