PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
