I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize