Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
