There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You dont lie about slip and slides
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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