I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
