I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
