Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
