Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
