That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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