I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
