So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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