yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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