I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
