So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
