i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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