The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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