I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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