I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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