Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
